Writing a Prayer for My Enemies

I didn't want to. I was not motivated to find the grace to speak kindness towards my enemies.

It had been a very long road to that "today." It was October 2022. We officially crossed the four-year threshold of my custody arrangement change. I personally call it the day there was an attempt to rob my son of relationship and access to his mother, but others called it court mandated changes than named me the non-custodial guardian with the "privileges" of visitation and "duties" of child-support, medical-support, and all travel responsibility. I also like to call this the price of someone else's convenience, but I will not linger in the Carolina Reaper's frequency and fragrance. :)

The 4-year threshold crossing came with a request for my son to attend that year's BRIDE Tribe Advance in The Woodlands, TX, but because my son had spent an August long-weekend with me at a Galveston retreat, "the missed school days were too many, and he will not miss school; therefore, he will not go." Control mechanisms are always my favorite.

Not really. This "no" broke something in me. I screamed and cried out in the same way that I had so violently done in 2018. Up until this point, I had swallowed so much pride and so many venomous words. I had experienced being shut out of his elementary school and scraping by to access the middle school. I was nowhere to be found in new Amarillo doctor's nor dentist's records. I had to fight at every turn for my son to have his biological mother during the mandated times and within the mandated, legal boundaries I was given. I did not mention previously that any extra time I did request ALWAYS came with a time loss because I had to trade to gain said, "extra time."

So, I was angry. Vengeful. Wrath-filled. I was in such a bad, broken place, I was going through my memory of the last four years, and at every place I softened and prayed for my son's home and family members away from me, I started speaking disagreement and curses. Even when I did finally turn my ear to hear what God said about the matter, I would turn it away again because it was still the same message from October 2018: "I need you to pray for and bless them, Kendra."

It was 2 weeks before the Woodlands event, and by the way, I would be speaking at the BRIDE Tribe Advance. It was a Sunday night around 4:45 PM, and I was reading while snuggled in pajamas. Suddenly, I remembered a prayer event that was happening in our town, and I heard the Lord stirring me to go, saying I needed to attend.

I didn't want to. I still had a really bad attitude, I was in pajamas, and I told God I was not interested in hanging out with a bunch of fake, religious people. Finally, with a louder and more stern voice, I heard the Lord say, "The Advance is coming soon! Get your butt up and go now!" Let's just say I responded with a very fast, "Yessir," dressed very quickly, gathered my worship items, and flew out the door! I arrived right on time!

The moment I walked in, I could feel the religious spirit, and it was hard not to think I was wasting my time, but I finally had that rebellious place inside me come forward. I grabbed my large, "Jesus" banner and headed to the back of the room to move around, and I heard within myself, "I don't care what those religious people want to believe about me, I'm not here for them anyways, and I'm going into worship even if they don't come with me." I closed my eyes and began to move around. Two prayer friends began moving flags with me, and interestingly enough, the worship leader, whom I didn't know, called us up to the front to move the banners around up there. He could sense that our worship was contending with that religion.

"Noted," I thought within myself. I had no idea who the leaders, speakers, or ministers were for this event. I only knew a handful of trusted prayer friends that had shared about it, so I liked seeing the worship leader using discernment to feel out the atmosphere. Worship ended with a Holy Spirit-filled atmosphere, and it was time for the speakers to come forward.

They were great. I could tell they were the real deal. By the end of the speaking portion, the ministry team prepared to pray over attendees and sought radical healings and breakthrough. I watched closely from the room's mid-area and left room for those hungriest for this. I was also slightly guarded and prayed for authenticity. It was there. People were receiving answers to prayer right then and there.

I thought about my situation with the trip, and I thought, "Maybe, he would miraculously change his mind and allow my son to go." So, I got in line and watched the men of God and the people before them. Many times, I was moved to tears just watching. I waited in line for probably an hour or more, but when my turn came, the gentle man of God asked me my name and my request. I shared very short details about what had happened, and he began to pray.

But within about five words of this man's prayer, he pauses and says, "Kendra, I, uh... well, this is going to sound really crazy, but, uh, well... the Lord is telling me to tell you, uh... He wants you to pray for and bless your son's father..."

Silence.

I was pissed. Instantly...

But the fury only about 2 seconds...

Because right after that was a strong reality and truth that my miracle was actually hearing the voice of God in the midst of my rebellion. I had actively been turning my ear away from Him, but He showed me a grace that could surpass my rebellion and have his voice reach my heart. And boy, did it soften...

I cried. A lot. I could not stop it. The man of God was actually a little worried he had messed up, but I told him, "Oh no, you are spot on, brother. Can you please pray that for me?" And he did. And afterwards, I left. I drove twenty minutes home, crying the whole way. It was after midnight as I was pulling into my neighborhood, and I finally used my words.

I said, "Lord, I don't have words for these people anymore. I do not have any way to speak kindly and bless them anymore."

God said, "My grace is sufficient, and I have words. What have I been teaching you to do for these last few years with my words?"

I answered, "To write prayers."

God said, "Go home and write the prayer using my words."

So, I sat down with my bible and journal and wrote down everything that was pointed out to me. The pages carry the stains of the tears that poured out alongside the scribbles. Jesus led me through the scripture as the Word, but what He really did was bring me closer to Him. He saw every tear and knew every hurt. When I reached the end of scribing the words He needed me to write on the page, I said, "Okay, done. I did it."

God said, "Oh, no, you need to type this up."

I did not respond verbally but immediately went into typing up the document. When I reached the end of typing the scribed journal entry, I said, "Okay, done. I did it."

God said, "Oh, no, now, you need to read it out loud for them."

The tears came alongside my cracking voice and together, they declared the Blessings My Enemies Prayer over my son's father and others. When I reached the end of praying and blessing in the words of the document, I said, "Okay, done. I did it."

God said, "No, not yet. Kendra, what day is it?"

I responded, knowing it was well after 2 AM CST, "Halloween."

God asked, "What is going on right now?"

I answered, "Sacrifices and rituals."

God said, "They are expecting tsunamis of living water and glory bombs, and they are awaiting the warfare weaponry-filled prayer work tonight, but they are not expecting a blessing. I want you to pray for those doing the sacrifices and rituals with this language."

The tears turned into very gentle streams as the sobbing ceased and voice-cracking turned smooth. I prayed the language one more time for those God asked me to intercede for, especially those in the Amarillo Panhandle territory. Then, I was done.

Several weeks later, this prayer was THE prayer that helped me through the BRIDE Tribe Advance speaking engagement and many other events and threats of offense since. I hope the testimony and prayer language bless you with a softening of your heart: friend, brother, sister, or enemy.